I have experienced enough that there is never a really trusting intellectual relationship between me and Teichelmann; mutual mistrust fills both parties, and on his side there is an arbitrariness and a lust for power that I cannot possibly always submit to without making myself guilty of feminine and sometimes, in my opinion, sinful desires. His judgment should always be the only correct one, and every deviation in opinion is persecuted to the utmost. I would almost like to apply the words of the psalm(17) to him:

"What they say must be spoken from heaven; what they say must be valid on earth."

Oh, that he could feel what a deep wound he often inflicts through his stubbornness, and how much the good cause is damaged by stirring up discord.

June 11th, 1838.
Although the wind was so unfavorable the previous day that we feared we would have to stay in the harbor any longer, this morning it was entirely in our favor. At midday the anchor was lifted and soon Plymouth was lost from sight. As we sailed past a prominent point on the shore where the pilot left us, everyone, travelers as well as sailors, climbed onto elevated objects to say farewell to their fatherland ( 010 ); everyone took off their hats, waved them in the air, and gave their good old England a three-rousing hurray. I was able to deeply rejoice in such love for one's country, which animates all classes of the English people, but I had to feel sad when I thought about my dear Germany, where such love for one's country is foreign, or at least the expression of it. The favorable wind lasted only one day, just long enough to bring us close to the canal, and from then on it has always been unfavorable.

All this time I was reading [John Williams'(18a)] narrative of the missionary ventures in the South Sea Islands(18b). The title alone shows that this book was in no way written from a church standpoint, seeing the spread of the Gospel as an undertaking by a society, not as a task for the entire church. However, I found the story not only entertaining in many respects, but also at times edifying and sometimes highly instructive for a Gentile messenger. My wish when reading the book was that my brothers in Dresden would want to own it and that more attention would be paid to such phenomena, because they at least serve to correct our judgment about the spread of Christianity in our time and to explore the conditions of the pagans in their various countries. So the story in question directed my attention to [New] Guinea, where several million people ( 011 ) live in a pagan but independent state, a promising field for Dresden society.

All my reading, however, had to be done on the foredeck, as there is no light or space in our cabin; the latter is so filled with our beds and boxes that Teichelmann and I can hardly get dressed at the same time. There can be no question of actually studying.