September 29th, 1839. Sunday.
I was in Klemzig all day. Bertha didn't go to church in the morning, in the afternoon Pastor Kavel, me and Krummnow talked about the latter's trip to Encounter Bay, and came to what me and Krummenow had already come to yesterday, namely that he should live with me and that I wanted to help him in return for his ( 142 ) help with home education, but that he would have to provide for his own maintenance. --

Bertha told me that our love had become widely known because of August's carelessness. I stayed the night in Klemzig because of the unfriendly weather, but unfortunately I had little opportunity to talk to Bertha in private because Ferdinand Kavel stayed so late with Mr. Fiedler. This lack of entertainment caused a great gap or emptiness inside me.

September 30th, 1839.
Mr. Fiedler and Pastor Kavel wanted to buy four Timor horses today, or rather just get them because they had already been bought, but there was a lack of money. Mr. Fiedler had promised to lend me one of his two horses to Encounter Bay. Mr. Bauer, who visited me this evening, told me that I was on everyone's lips as someone who wanted to marry Mr. Fiedler's daughter. The news had come from Hahndorf and was reinforced by the fact that Mr. Fiedler wanted me to sit in front of him on Sunday, something he had never done before.

October 1st, 1839.
The time is becoming incredibly long for me, a secret, anxious longing follows me wherever I walk and stand, and all the reassurance that I first felt when Bertha rewarded me with love in return is gone. The more we confess our ( 143 ) love to one another, the more my desire to see her and be around her grows. Until now I couldn't believe that one could be sick with love, but now I'm beginning to understand the feelings of such sick people. --

A bitter insult to Henry Calton(151) came to my attention today from Mr. Moorhouse; The former had said to Mr. Preacher Quaife(152) that we were doing nothing, that we should live in the bush with the natives, and so on.

Before you, all-knowing Lord and God, I immediately admit myself guilty to such charges of negligence in my office; I may have devoted many an hour to my love, which belonged to my profession; For the sake of your goodness, may you forgive me and govern the circumstances in such a way that I may not be tempted to steal my office for long, but rather grant me my love, the delight of my eyes and the joy of my heart, my beloved Bertha, so that she may be around me, that the sorrow of my soul and the longing of my heart may be stilled.

Br. Teichelmann came back from Kanyanyapilla today.