forgotten to add that I once refused to go to mission class with her; She had thought that if she was to love me again, she felt that clearly, then God would have to work love in her heart again; that she had made promises to me which she could not take back without sin, she would realize that of two evils one must choose the least harmful. His, Pastor Kavel's, opinion that he expressed against her was pretty much the same, although he also told her that she might regret it. I mentioned the sanctity of promises in such cases, but he referred to their new betrothal law(205) and pointed my scripture to the already blessed marital status. Pastor Kavel tried to console me by saying that it must be a torment for me to have a loveless, melancholic wife ( 259 ) for my life; although he himself said that he did not see that our wedding was God's will and that it should have come.

After we had prayed together, he went with me to Kappler(206), whose son Gottfried(207) I was renting; From there we went to Fiedler's house, but since it was getting dark and my letters and other work to Europe were pressing me, I had to go home, and what's more, without being able to say goodbye to Bertha, who was currently absent. My heart was very sad and could hardly find any support;

Oh, how severely you have chastised me, my dear God; How much did you give me and did you take away from me?

March 23rd, 1840.
Partly to find out Bertha's current state of mind, and partly to pay a visit to Miss Pennyfeather(208), who had arrived last Friday, I went to Klemzig again. Since I could speak little to my bride, I soon went to the latter, whom I found very depressed and discouraged because Pastor Kavel had left her the very next day and she had not found the preparations and comfort that she had expected. I tried to raise her up as I could, but I felt the same way as she did and was even sadder. She praised my bride, especially her Christian seriousness, and she was even more pleased with her company because she understood quite a bit of English. When I returned, I didn't speak to Bertha for very long, but I told her that she must have misunderstood me if she had attributed pride to me, ( 260 ) which is why she asked for an apology. She repeated that God must awaken her love again, and said again that her privilege was that she had not thought everything through properly from the start. Mr. Fiedler repeated what he had already said once, that he hoped the matter would be resolved, and Bertha dismissed me with the words that if our union was God's will, then he would grant her the inclination again; so I went with some hope.

Mr. Moorhouse, who came back from Encounter Bay on the previous Sunday, told me that my house was far from finished, and that there was as little chance of it being finished any time soon, as there were many natives in the bay.

The natives, who received news that one of the Northmen had been shot, mourned their countryman in the usual manner; Soon afterwards, however, the news came that he had been transformed into a horsetail tree, so they stopped complaining.